The Most Dangerous Mission
by EternalTags
Summary: Shepard just finished clearing out the last of the Geth when Anderson pays a visit to the Normandy. He has a mission for her that Shepard would do anything to not have to do. Anderson is forced to order her to accept it. What is this mission? Shepard has to go to a fancy birthday party. In a dress. Unarmed. Rated M for future content such as language, violence, and sexy times
1. Chapter 1: The Mission Requirements

**-~ I've been trying to further along my other fan fic, **_**Coping with insanity**_,** for the past week or so. Frankly all the drama of the dark story inspired me to write something more light hearted and rather humorous. What could be funnier than putting an unwilling Shepard in a dress and sending her to a party? Or what happens at said party in the next chapter? Same Kara Shepard as in **_**Coping with insanity**_**, only a little earlier and a little more sane. Rated M for future content, such as violence, swearing and yes, sex. All in good time my readers, all in good time. ~**

Geth cleanup was almost like a vacation. After all that time spent hunting Saren, finding Prothean artifacts, arguing with the Council and ultimately saving the galaxy? Spending a month on a back water planet, wiping out the last of Sarens Geth was nearly therapeutic. The best part was that this particular planet was in a "dead zone", effectively cutting them off from all other world communications. Shepard was almost sad when she put a put a bullet through the head of the last AI.

"Mission accomplished people, lets pack it up." Pulling off her visor, Shepard drew the back of her hand over her face, only smearing the thick layers of sweat and dirt. The planet was beyond humid, and every step left you three inches in mud, but there was something about the grime that just made it all the more enjoyable. It reminded her of her days in boot camp. The crew had so much practice killing Geth, it wasn't much of a surprise that not a single one of them had more than a scratch or a bruise. Though Shepards armor would need a new coat of black and red paint, she was otherwise unharmed. Tracking mud through the doors of the _Normandy,_ laughing with her teammates, Shepard enjoyed a moment she rarely experienced in her life. A moment of pure, carefree happiness. For now, there was no crazed Spectre leading an army across the galaxy. There were no superiors breathing down her neck, or lying politicians trying to screw her over. She could be who she was meant to be. Just a soldier following orders, fighting an enemy, and ending a mission.

~_Commander, Counselor Anderson is waiting for you in the armory_~

Before Jokers voice came over the speakers, Shepard had just returned to her quarters and peeled off most of her chipped, grime caked armor.

"Anderson?" She froze. What in the hell would he be doing all the way out here? Her stomach sank. There were no communications between planets, and messages could only be transferred personally. Anderson was on the counsel now, he was way too important to fly halfway across the galaxy just to deliver a message. He would only be here if something really bad was happening. Something so classified, that only a Counselor could be trusted with the information. In her book, there was only one threat big enough. The Reapers. Something was happening, something that meant they weren't trapped in deep space like they had thought. Could there have been another way for them to get here? Adrenaline shot through her veins as she charged to the elevator, still in her greaves, boots and skin tight under armor. Mashing the button repeatedly as the doors slowly closed, she was lowered all the way down to the engineering deck. The second the doors opened wide enough to fit through, she took off.

Anderson was standing at the weapons bench, next to Ashley, idly chatting about weapon upgrades. This threw Shepard off as she got closer. Surely if his visit was about the Reapers, he would not be taking part in small talk with the crew.

"Ah, Commander, Chief Williams was just telling me that you have finished clearing out the Geth. Good work."

"Sir? If you don't mind me asking, why are you here?" Without breaking eye contact with him, Shepard motioned Ashley to move along. After the young Chief left, Anderson took in the Commanders appearance. Dark reddish brown hair was coming loose from its ponytail, and wisps were clinging to her cheeks and forehead. Shepards usually pale face was coated with dirt, making her bright green eyes stand out more so than usual. Her greaves and boots were scuffed and scratched leaving small lines of silver across the black and red polish. Her under armor was darkened with sweat, and her dog tags gleamed against the contrast. She looked every bit the soldier. It would be quite the challenge to change that.

"Calm down Commander, I'm just here to give you your… new assignment." He chuckled when her brow furrowed and her eyes squinted slightly, turning her head to the side. The Shepard stink eye was her personal way of saying 'Something's up, and I'm sure I'm not going to like it.'

Remembering what he was here for, he disguised his chuckle as a cough, straightened up with his shoulders back, and clasped his hands behind him. Having regained his official looking stance, Shepard stood ram rod straight, ready for her orders. Anderson nearly lost it as he imagined what her reaction was going to be.

"Commander Kara Shepard, you are formally invited to the birthday party of the Earth Prime Minister." After just his first sentence, she reacted as he thought she would. Eyes wide open, and jaw dropped in complete and utter shock. Holding down his laughter, he continued in his commanding tone.

"Exactly one week from now, at 1600 hours, you are to report to the address that will be sent to you via omni-tool. You are _not_ attending as a soldier, _not_ as a Commander, _not_ as a Spectre, not even as the _Hero of the Citadel_. You are attending as _Kara Shepard_. You _will_ be expected to wear a formal dress, accessorize, wear makeup, and yes, _god forbid_, you will do your hair." At this, she had completely lost her perfect posture. Her shoulders were slouched forward, hands hanging at her sides, shock and disbelief still clear on her face. He wasn't done yet. Anderson knew that with this last command, Shepard will definitely have something to say. "Because you will be a guest, you will not be armed."

That did it.

"WHAT?" Shepards legendary temper had finally made its appearance.

"_You. Will. Not. Be. Armed._" He repeated.

"What abou-"

"No!"

"What if I-"

"NO! _No_ side arm! _No_ Omni-Tool! _No_ knife strapped to the side of your leg! Not even a retractable blade in your _shoe_! God help me Shepard, I will have you frisked at the door."

"Sir, you cannot expect me to go without-" Anderson cut her off before she could finish, fully expecting this argument. Shepard had what he had come to call, soldiers luck. Not just bad luck, but a mix between Murphy's Law, and good luck. Anything that could go wrong will go wrong, but after a few moments of chaos, the problem will be quickly resolved. Shepard was truly the only person with soldiers luck to have lasted longer than a few years in the military. As a result of having such a record, Kara had never once gone longer than a few moments without a weapon within reach.

"Commander, this will be a guarded event. Several Marines, even a few N7 officers will be making up the defenses in the very unlikely event of something going wrong. If it will make you feel better, you will be allowed to add two members of your crew to the guard. This is not up for debate, Commander. You will be attending, and that's an order. Have I made myself clear?"

Like a pouting child, Shepard had folded her arms and looked away, glaring at the floor.

"Commander…" He said in a warning tone.

She had just been about to remind Anderson that She was a Spectre now, and didn't have to take orders from the Alliance. Then she remembered she wasn't the only one who had a promotion. _Councilor_ Anderson, was now one of four people who _could_ give her orders. At the tone of the Councilors voice, she snapped him a salute, with a glare in her eyes.

"Sir, yes sir." Gaining the response he was looking for, he made his way to the elevator to exit the ship.

"I'll see you there Shepard. Can't have you showing up without an escort." He smirked as the doors began to close.


	2. Chapter 2: Temptation

**~So, chapter two, we get a **_**little**_** more into that rated M thing. ****Not **_**full**_** on smut, but quite a bit. ****I can't tell you how much fun I had writing this. Shepard is ranting and raving… and naked. Liara is trying to hold back her arousal, and not doing so well at it. Shepard tells an amusing story about her hatred of part****ies. A little info though, this takes place in Shepards room, yes, but it's not the same one that was in the SR1. Just pretend the captain's cabin from the SR2 is in the SR1. It's just better that way.~**

"That god damn, ass packing, son of a bitch!" This statement was emphasized by a boot flying across the room before thudding against the opposite wall of Shepards cabin, just missing Liara as she came in. A few seconds after Anderson had left the ship, the Commander had snapped for Joker to set a course for Illium, then stomped her way up to her room, unaware that Liara was following close behind. Why Illium? _Because Shepard doesn't own a dress and Illium is only an hour away. __She's going to have to go shopping._

Yelling curses as she stripped off the rest of her armor, she seemed to have just noticed the Asari.

"He knows, _he knows_ how much I fucking hate these god damned fancy parties!" Her eyes were wide with anger as she spit the words between gritted teeth. Liara just stood there and let the Commander rant.___** "And no weapon**_? What the fuck? I was _always_ allowed at least my side arm as long as I kept it hidden!" Her pacing stopped when she came to her dresser and yanked open a drawer.

"I made sure I would never get invited to one of these fucking political pissing contest parties the last time Anderson made me go to one! You would think traumatizing a senators wife would put you on the party invite black list!" As she ranted, she peeled off her sweat soaked under armor, leaving her in her black bra and panties, and began rummaging through her drawers for a clean change of clothes. Liara let her eyes wonder over Kara's bare muscular back and shoulders, admiring the way her muscles moved and flexed while she angrily shoved unwanted clothes to the side. She caught herself when her gaze began to focus lower. The way her lovers firm, tight, round…

_No! Focus! Now is not the time!_ "You traumatized a senators wife?"

Shepard, after setting the clothes she wanted on her desk, stormed to her bathroom, shedding her underwear as she went. Liaras eyes widened, her desire becoming fairly difficult to control.

_She is not making this easy for me._

"After the Blitz, all of a sudden, the Alliance wanted to show off their new poster child. Anderson forced me to go to one fancy god damn party after another. Shake hands, smile, schmooze, the whole political ass kissing deal." Liara heard the water of the shower, and tried (unsuccessfully) not to imagine her Commander naked, wet, and lathered in soap. Shepard continued her rant anyway, oblivious to Liaras struggles to resist stripping down and joining her mate in the shower. "I hated every fucking second of it! I would rather have had faced a Thresher Maw unarmed then attend one more fucking party, ball, celebration, gala, or banquet! But he threatened me with forced leave of absence if I misbehaved, the bastard. 'If brass wants you to schmooze, you are damn well going to schmooze with a smile on your face!'" Kara yelled from behind the closed bathroom door, imitating the former Admirals voice.

Giving herself something to do, Liara began to walk around Shepards room, picking up the discarded clothes and scraps of armor.

"About ten 'soirees' later, I had enough. I told Anderson I wasn't going to another one, and if he made me, he wouldn't like the outcome. Thinking he was calling my bluff, he made me go to the next one anyway. Some political ass wipe get together to celebrate something stupid I didn't care about. Twenty minutes in, I found myself talking to one of Earths senators and his wife. After he left to get a drink my opportunity came up. She asked me what being a soldier was like. I went into _great_ detail on the most gruesome ways you could kill someone and missions when I got to use those methods. Gutting a Krogen and watching as three sets of organs spilled out onto the floor. What it was like finding a corpse after it had been rotting for three days in a swamp. I even recalled one mission where I fought this Blue Suns merc, I told her how if you twist a Turians neck just right, not only can you hear the vertebrae crack and feel the brain stem snap in two, but how their scales shatter and literally rip off, leaving a bloody mess all over your hands. I went on until she ran to a trash can and barfed."

Liara felt a little bad for the poor woman. She was feeling a little queasy herself. Shepard gave a harsh laugh as she went on. "You should have seen Andersons face! He practically grabbed me by the ear and dragged me outside. I got reamed about how much trouble I just caused him, and how much damage control he was going to have to do. When he started to say I wasn't going to get a single invite after tonight, he realized that was exactly what I was after. I gave him my biggest shit eating grin. I thought I was off the hook when he grinned back, but then he pulled me off the next mission I was lined up for, and sent me to train recruits in boot camp for a few weeks instead. It sucked, but it was better than playing dress up and playing nice with people I couldn't care less about. Ever since then, Anderson conveniently sent me away on missions the same day an invite showed up."

The bathroom doors wooshed open, and Liara had to bite the inside of her cheek in order to stifle a groan. Shepard walked out of the bathroom, dripping wet, with nothing but a towel in her hands as she quickly dried her long hair. The glow from her fish tank reflected on her damp skin, making the water droplets glisten as they fell down her neck, between her breasts, over her chiseled abs and round hips, her firm toned legs,andthe way her hips gently swayed with each step, _**GODDESS**__ I don't know how much more of this I can take! _

"I guess I can't really blame him this time though." She sighed. "It _is_ the Prime Minister. If he requested I go, there's really no saying _no._" Liara barely heard Shepard over the sound of heated blood thudding through her ears. She did however, notice when Kara started to pick up her clean clothes. Giving up on being good, Liara dropped the clothes already in her hands and briskly walked up to the Commander before swatting the clothes from her hands as well. Grabbing Shepards bicep, Liara pulled her forward the last few inches and latched her mouth onto Kara's soft lips, easing them to part with her tongue. Lacing her other hand through the still damp, long dark red locks, she forced Shepard even closer as she explored her lovers mouth. The force of the kiss drove Shepard backwards, being stopped by the cold edge of her desk, but Liara did not relent. Her tongue glided over the roof of Karas mouth, over her smooth teeth. She pulled back only to allow them a chance to breathe.

"You think you're allowed to walk around naked in front of me, and then put clothes on as if nothing happened? Do you remember what happened the last time you did that? Have I taught you nothing?" The asari murmured, her lips only centimeters from the Commanders cocky grin. A shiver of desire shook down her spine when Karas fingertips slowly worked their way underneath the hem of Liaras shirt and lightly settled on the curve above her hips.

"Hmmmm, I don't seem to recall." Shepards voice was low and raspy. It never ceased to drive Liara crazy. "You might need to remind me. Then again I _might_ forget again, so you will need to remind me several times." Her answer was a swift return to their passionate kiss, her hands now roaming freely across her lovers back, toned shoulders, smoothing down her chest and over soft breasts. Gripping Shepards waist firmly, Liara walked backwards without breaking the hungry kiss, leading them to the bed.

Shepard however, was getting impatient. She was tugging at every offensive piece of clothing covering Liara that prevented her very naked self from touching that soft blue skin. Not even making it to the bed, Kara had changed their direction to the much closer couch. They had topped over the arm of the couch and landed hard. They didn't even notice. Shepard, now on top of her asari, began to pull Liaras shirt off as fast as she could, breaking the kiss briefly, only to throw the shirt aside. Her hands moved underneath the asari, searching for her bra clasp.

"God, you're amazing." Shepard gasped. Liara had allowed her to come up for air, simply moving the kiss to the Commanders neck. Her hands were clasped on firm hips, holding her love as close as possible, occasionally allowing a palm to float across well-defined abs and enjoying the responding twitching. Biting, licking and sucking the sensitive skin down her neck, across her collarbone, and back up along her jaw, Liara was everywhere at once. Shepard groaned in pleasure and she felt a small bit of pride when she saw her eyes roll back and her eyelids flutter.

Finally undoing the clasp, Shepard threw the bra across the room, making it as lost as the shirt. Nearly diving down, she took hold of both newly exposed breasts and took a perked nipple in her mouth, holding it between her teeth she had begun licking and sucking with practiced movements, knowing exactly how to drive Liara wild. She grinned when she felt a hand plunge into her hair and another wrapping behind her neck and gripping the opposite shoulder, holding her close. Shepards own hands were franticly trying to unbutton the asaris skin tight pants. Feeling the fabric finally giving slack, she was about to yank the last of the clothing, (panties and all) that was keeping her from her prize.

_~Now docking at Illium, Commander. I have the coordinates Anderson sent. If you wanna make it to Earth in time for the party, we need to be outta here in a few hours.~_

Shepard went completely slack as Liaras head fell back with a disappointed sigh. Both their arms falling limp to their sides and slipping off of the couch.

Her face nuzzled between Liaras breasts, Shepard let out a growl, "Bastard has the unholy gift of terrible timing." Still grumbling, Shepard rolled off of Liara and landed heavily on the floor with a muffled 'oof.' Giggling at her goofy behavior, Liara watched as Kara pulled on her clean clothes. She wore a pair of faded blue jeans with a hole torn in the knee, and a simple dark blue tank top that showed just the slightest amount of cleavage. The shirt allowed the world to see the tribal eagle tattoo on her right shoulder. The black tip of a wing just touching her collarbone. An N7 emblem was tattooed just below it on her bicep.

Shepard walked around the room, gathering hers and Liaras clothes that had been spread all over the room. "Hopefully, I won't be gone long. I know where I have to go, and I've got a general idea on what I'm gonna get."

"You are going to go shopping for a dress. By yourself. On your own." Liara sounded skeptical. Almost afraid at what monstrosity Shepard was going to ware.

"Hey, I'll have you know, before the Blitz, I was part of an infiltration group! I know how to wear a disguise! This is just going to be a … _fancy_ disguise!"

"This is hardly an infiltration mission," Liara laughed, "It's a party! You have to be sophisticated, polite, not to mention lady like." Shepard shivered at that word.

"Well believe it or not, I _do_ know how to act like a lady." Shepard smirked, "I also don't want you to see before the party. Consider yourself lucky, you and Ash are going to be the only people on this ship to ever see me in a dress." Pulling on her own clothes, Lira answered with a smile of her own.

"I take it Ashley and I are going to be on guard duty for the party?"

"Well I wanted to bring you as my date, but Anderson made it rather clear that _he_was going to be my 'escort.' He's quite the old fashioned gentleman isn't he?" She rolled her eyes and gagged a bit, bringing another giggle from Liara. Satisfied with her response, Kara walked up to Liara who was now dressed, but still sitting on the couch. She leaned over and kissed her lovers brow before turning to leave. Looking over her shoulder as she left, she stole one last glance at her own asari goddess.

"Besides, it will take a week to get to Earth. That might be just enough time to finish what Joker interrupted."


	3. Chapter 3: Plotting

**~I'm sorry for not updating! If you guys read my other story **_**Coping With Insanity**_**, then you know the deal, and that I'm trying to update at least once a week. I'll be alternating between both stories, trying to keep the creative juices flowing so I don't go a burn myself out and get stuck with writers block again. I admit most of this chapter is character development, but there are a few things that will be hinting at whats gonna be going on further down the line! Shepard hatches a devious plan around Anderson's rules. Ashley makes her appearance, Shepard shows off her new toy and we enjoy some witty banter. No Liara sexy times yet, but next chapter will, I'm sure. Enjoy, and PLEASE. PLEASE review. I won't know if I'm improving at all unless I get some feedback!~**

Shepard had to smack Liara's hand away when she returned to the Normandy. She was barely able to keep the long black garment bag, as well as several other smaller bags in one hand. Keeping everything perfectly balanced, she was able to push the necessary buttons and input the required codes to get from the docks all the way up to her room. When Liara descended upon her while she was waiting for the elevator, Shepard was barely able to turn away from her, making the garment bag just out of reach. When she persisted, Kara reached under her left arm and smacked the blue hand that was reaching for the dress.

"Shepard!" Liara whined. She was itching to see the dress Kara had picked, and was a little peeved that she wasn't being allowed to see it.

Shepard would not be denied her teasing. "Liara!" She answered in an equally exasperated tone, "I told you, you aren't going to see it until the party." A wicked grin spread across her face as she stepped into the elevator. "In fact, I'm going to keep it under lock and key until then to keep it safe from your snooping!"

"I _do not_ snoop!" Shepard just laughed as the doors closed on Liara's frustrated glare.

She checked the hallway outside of her room for any unwanted crew members hoping to catch a peek. It was hardly a secret that the great and fierce, sarcastic, fowl mouthed, violent, tomboy Commander Shepard was going to be in a dress for this party. Knowing her crew, they were going to do everything they could to catch a glimpse of the rare sight. _Like that's ever going to happen_. Once satisfied that the hall was in fact, clear, she hurried to her room and locked the door behind her.

"So what'd ya get?" Shepard jumped nearly a foot in the air before whipping around, slamming her back against the door. Every bag she had been managing to keep a hold of fell ungracefully to the floor. None other than Gunnery Chief, Ashley Williams, was standing not three feet away with a very wide, very excited grin.

"How the _hell_ did you get in my room!"

"I'm pretty sure Liara forgot to lock it after she left earlier. So what are you wearing to the party?"

"Jesus, what is it with you people?" She just shook her head as she bent over to pick up her discarded bags. When Ashley came over and reached for the bags (presumably to help pick them up) Shepard once again had to swat hands away. "No."

"What? But I just-"

"No."

"Not even a-"

"No!" She quickly picked up each bag and carried them over to her oversized armor locker. After shoving each item inside, she activated the pass-code required lock. Thinking better of it, she placed three other high-security coded locks in place. Just in case they thought to get Tali involved. Turning back to the pouting Chief, Shepard couldn't help but chuckle. "Is it really that exciting that I'm going to be in a dress? I mean, it's not like I've never worn one before."

"That may be true, but you have never worn one in front of the crew. Nor are you exactly the 'I'm going to wear a dress on my time off just to feel pretty' type."

"It's not my fault that a dress just isn't practical when hundreds of mercs and Geth are shooting at you. Besides, how do you know that I don't just dress up and have privet tea parties in my cabin with Liara?"

"For one, I'm pretty sure any 'privet tea party' you have with Liara isn't going to involve very much clothing." Shepard barked out a laugh before Ashley went on. "And second, if that was true, you wouldn't have had to go out and buy all that fancy crap. I saw makeup and hair products in those bags, Commander."

"Well, you will just have to wait and see. I'm not even showing Liara, so you ain't got a chance in hell. Best give up now Chief, I know how much of a sore looser you are. You don't see me badgering you about what you're going to be wearing."

"Oh I already know what I'm wearing. Liara and I called ahead and got our instructions for the party. I'll be on outdoor recon, jumping from roof tops and such, while Liara will be inside watching entrances."

Shepard scowled, wishing it was her jumping across roof tops. "Doesn't sound like something you can do in a dress."

"Oh no, I plan on wearing that new Heavy Dualist X Armor that just came out. I was able to place the order for it while you were out, should be getting here soon actually. I'd hate for it to be late and end up having to wear that God awful Phoenix IV."

Shepard covered her face as she let out a groan. "I'd settle for pants, an Omni-tool and a shield pack."

Ashley gave the Commander an empathetic look. "You can't even bring your Omni-tool, huh?"

Sitting heavily down at her desk chair, she turned on her pride and joy, to show off the new Omni-tool a bit for the Chief. "Na, even if I disable the hacking programs, the drones, and the field mines, it's got a little extra that can't be taken off. I haven't gotten a chance to show you yet huh?" She gave Ashley a sly grin before clenching her fist and giving it a slight flick. A bright flash on the back of her fist, and then there was an orange blade nearly a foot long extended out from the Omni-tool. The look on Ashley's face was priceless.

Her jaw dropped and Shepard swore she caught her drooling. "No fricken way! You have an Omni-blade! I thought those were still in the testing stage!"

"They are. When I got word they were starting to test it, I insisted that the _Hero of the Citadel _be one of their official testers. It's been pretty handy against the Geth so far. No glitches, completely hack proof, but the durability is crap. The blade only lasts one good hit before it breaks and I got to wait nearly half an hour before I can use it again. They told me that maybe three years from now they could get it up to three hits every thirty seconds." She smiled fondly at her favorite weapon. She hadn't left the ship once since she got it. She hated to leave it behind. Looking thoughtfully over at Ashley (who was now definitely drooling over the Omni-blade) she asked a question. "Say, you know what Liara will be wearing? I'm sure they don't want people walking around fully decked out in armor and a full weapons pack."

Ashley grabbed one of the cushioned folding chairs the Commander kept under her desk and flipped it around, the back to Shepard before straddling it. She crossed her arms over the back of the chair and rested her chin on her forearm. "Nah, she gets a dress code too. She has to wear _black _slacks and a _white_ dress shirt." She rolled her eyes before going on. "She's allowed smaller weapons like her Kessler, some over shields and Omni-tool if she wants. I doubt she will, though. Her biotics are enough…. What? I know that look, Commander, what are you thinking?" Shepard's smirk had slowly spread until it was a full grown smile, her eyes narrowed as she examined her Omni-blade.

Shepard looked up at the Chief, nothing but pure innocence on her face. "I don't know what you're talking about, Ash. I was just thinking that Liara should really be using a better gun than her Kessler. Do you think she would mind using my HMWP Master X instead? Or better yet, keep her Kessler too, but as a backup? And one or two over shield packs really isn't enough to keep her safe should something happen. She should have at least three. And I know she's a strong biotic, but being able to overload a weapon or better yet, say, using an emergency _blade_ is quite the failsafe should she exhaust herself."

Ashley smiled in pure delight, and laughed as she answered. "You know, Ma'am, I like the way you think."


	4. Chapter 4: Scrapped

"Why is it always batarian slavers?" When the air lock closed behind her after her return to the ship, Shepard knew she was kissing her relaxing week in bed with Liara goodbye. Shortly after Ashley left her cabin the day before, the asari had come in hoping they could have dinner together. It wasn't long until they were both naked and on the floor. They really had to work on making it to the bed at some point. Much to her despair, before they could _really_ get anywhere, they were once again interrupted. Joker's voice had come over the comm system, alerting her of a distress signal coming from a human colony on a nearby planet that was being attacked by slavers. Really, the man deserved an award in cock blocking. _Or a punch in the Goddamn face. _

The mission had gone over simply enough, nothing more strenuous then point and shoot while keeping up a constant sprint. The slavers were taken out, no injuries, and the colony was saved with minimal casualties. However the mission had lasted nearly an entire day and she was exhausted. In the morning, mountains of paperwork and reports would be waiting for her to fill out and sort through. There was also the one batarian who seemed smart enough to surrender, and was now being kept in the brig. Keeping a prisoner meant more paperwork.

She should have shot him. She probably would have. Her childhood friend had moved to a colony on Mindoir. Her father was tired of bailing his daughter out of prison and headed off into space, if only to try and provide a better life for his daughter, rather than her continuing stealing and killing as a member of the Reds. It was only a week later that the entire colony was overrun by slavers. Her friend's name was among the casualties list.

The only thing that stopped her from pulling the trigger was a gentle reminder in the back of her mind. She remembered hearing stories about a soldier who lead the siege of the slaver base on Torfan. The soldier had put a bullet through the head of every batarian, whether or not they were armed, or had even surrendered. Some of his unit that had survived told her most of the slavers were merely boys and had begged for their lives after they had breached the base. While he was never tried for murder, he met his own end regardless. An investigation revealed that his own squad had killed him, having been disgusted and fearful of his brutality. Shepard also knew that soldier. Captain James Stark was a very well respected man among his crew. She had never before seen subordinates so ready to lay down their own lives for their commanding officer. He was also the father of her deceased friend from Earth. She would not sink down to that level. She had instead accepted the batarian's surrender, smashed the butt of her rifle against his temple and had him dragged to the _Normandy_.

She would leave his interrogation to Garrus. He had been a little too preoccupied with calibrations lately and needed to hit something. There were no prison transports anywhere near their location, so it looked like he was along for the ride to Earth where he would be charged, processed, and incarcerated in some God forsaken prison. More paperwork.

She groaned as her private terminal already started to ding little alerts. An obscene amount of file requests from Alliance Administrations was already filling her inbox. Dragging her weary body over to her bed, she paused a moment when she noticed someone was already there. She smiled softly before laying down next to Liara, who had obviously tried waiting up for her. She had put up a bit of a fight when Shepard refused to take her along. Her reasoning of course being that she was a powerful biotic and would be a great amount of help, but Shepard had won, saying that the terrain would be better suited for heavy hitters. She had taken Wrex and Ashley instead.

Taking the asari lying in her bed as a sign that she had been forgiven, she wrapped her arms tightly around her waist and held her close. Letting out a contented sigh when Liara wiggled back into the embrace, Shepard drifted off into sleep. The paperwork would still be there in the morning, but right now, she really couldn't care less.

She had the upmost fortune to wake up before Liara. By some miracle, they had remained in the same position as last night. Her view of the asari sleeping was a rare one, and the reason wasn't something as easily explained as Liara being a light sleeper, or asari sleeping patterns. It was because Shepard couldn't resist the temptation to act like an immature child.

She leaned in close and nuzzled her nose softly along the Asari's jawline before leaning back ever so slightly.

"Lick my face, and you die."

"You take away all of my fun, you know that?"

"Last I checked, that was Jokers job." Liara turned in the embrace to face the Commander and smiled. Glad to see that not a single hair on her head had been harmed. "How was the mission?"

"Everything went smoothly; we won, batarians dead, colony saved, no one got even so much as a bruise. We've got a prisoner in the brig that I'm gonna unleash Garrus upon later, and there is a very unattractive pile of paperwork that is quickly filling up my private terminal." She leaned in so their foreheads were touching. "Sadly, it all has to be done before we get to Earth. I'm afraid our week full of amazing, mind blowing 'Embracing Eternity' has just been scrapped."

Liara sighed and turned around, as if to get up. Shepard suddenly stopped her, and only pulled her back down, before growling in her ear, "That doesn't mean we can't squeeze in a little fun time."

Kara wrapped her legs tightly around Liara's and secured her arms in an unbreakable hold, before rolling endlessly around on the large mattress. Encouraged by squeals of surprise, she quickly leaned in with a soft growl and gently bit down where Liara's neck met her shoulder. The squeals turned to giggles as Liara tried to free herself before the playful Shepard crossed the line. Kara's hands loosened her hold slightly, only so her fingers could lightly dance across Liara's abdomen. Sure enough the ticklish Asari began to laugh and yell, and fought harder to free herself from this torture. She knew it was breaking the rules, but Shepard had forced her hand when she refused to listen to her pleas to stop. A bright blue field enveloped the Commander and quickly shoved her over the opposite end of the bed, throwing her on the floor with an 'oof'

"Cheater!" Shepard was gasping for air when she finally stopped laughing. She didn't even bother getting up off of the floor. She just stared out the window above her bed with that huge grin of hers plastered on her face, which only got wider when Liara leaned over the edge of the bed.

Resting her head on crossed arms, she raised one incredulous brow. "Since when did _you_ ever play fair?"

Grunting, Shepard sat up and leaned against the bed so their faces were side by side. "Fair enough, you win this time…" Shepard just couldn't allow that smug look to linger on her love's face. She knew she was kissing her quickie goodbye, but she just couldn't pass up the chance.

Gathering up a sizeable amount of saliva, the Commander quickly leaned in and gave her a long, wet, slimy lick, from her jaw to the top of her crest. The look on Liara's face was priceless, much like how many others react to getting a full on wet-willy, and sent Shepard off in another fit of uncontrollable laughter. She almost made it out the door before a heavy pillow hit her hard upside the head.

**~Yeah! Doing something different and putting this at the BOTTOM! I know I've kept you guys waiting on updates, but I went on an unexpected hiatus. Family went on vacation to some cabin up at Mount Hood, and we EXPECTED there to be wifi. Buuuuuut my laptop was being a little bitch and wouldn't connect to it. My mom's phone could connect though, but I didn't really feel like typing out three pages on an iPhone. The vacation was fun and blahblahblah let's get to the story break down. It's just a little filler here, though we're getting closer to the party. I really wanted to add on another section to this chapter, but with work and family stuff, I would have kept you guys waiting for another week. I know some are disappointed in the lack of nudity, but fair warning: the next chapter will be very, very, beautifully smutty.~**


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